And now the kids are growing up. And I’m finding that, when I look at the ones who are adults or are near adults, I realize how much I didn’t do. And this is where I have to ask for forgiveness, and then remember that there is grace and mercy for the children of sinful parents as well. I hope and pray (and beg the Lord) for the souls of my children to belong to the Lord. I pray they seek after Christ. I pray they each first love the Lord and then love others before themselves. But there are no guarantees.
I cannot guarantee that I have not failed to show them what they needed to know, even though I did try. I also live and sin too often. My children see and experience my compromise, my misplaced anger, my pride, the times I put myself first, the times I was not faithful to God, the times I did not teach them, the times I put on a show for people, the times I twisted the truth (or lied), the times I didn’t serve my family well, the times I have been lazy, the times I was not loving. They are influenced by me and my mistakes.
I know that, by God’s grace, there are things I did do right. There are prayers that I did pray, responsibilities I did fulfill, moments I served, times I taught and directed, times I obeyed, times I took the children to church, times we learned scripture, times when I was a good example. Only because of the Lord and his mercy and grace, I have been able to do the right thing at the right time some of the time. I hope those things did make a lasting impression on my children. I can only hope.
So, as they begin to launch, those that are older in my home, it’s my prayer that the Lord will do the growing and the leading. I have planted and tried to water, but I am certainly glad I am not the one who controls what will happen, because I know some of my faults would have hindered the chances. Now to be the parent of adult children, and to give glory to the Lord through it, I can hope.
I still have several children who are young and impressionable. May I not grow tired, lazy, and complacent with them. The fire and short temper I had when my oldest were little has turned much colder and is in much more control. But at the same time, so has my passion and every day energy become much more subdued. It’s easy to take a few extra minutes to sleep. It’s tempting to let the kids wander off and do their own thing rather than stay alert and stay active in what they are doing. If I don’t stay in there, I’ll miss the blessings and the beauty that each of those children are to me. I’d miss the gift God gave to me through their little lives. May I run the race of parenthood the whole way through with stamina and vitality.
I pray all my children get the best of me and my husband. And I pray they grow to give the best to their God given tasks and families.
I am a C...I am a CH...I am a CHRISTIAN 