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Archive for July, 2010

I think the time is here and past.  I am no one, not some prophet crying out.  I’m just a Christian lady, but I have to say this, I agree with those who believe churches in America are bringing judgement upon themselves.  I am not speaking of the true Church, mind you, though there is still a remnant here in our nation.  We will be walking through this judgement too, but it’s those who have twisted scripture and lied to us that will be judged, and those who want to remain in the lie that will be judged.  It’s going to likely cause more persecution for the true church actually.  It will be hard to find truth in all those mega church wanna be buildings out there.  It will be harder to find comfort for the souls sitting in those numbered chairs.  Sure, they’ll feel good on Sunday morning when they sing and raise their hands, but what of the rest of the week?  Numb to the decay in their souls?  Numb from prescriptions taken to hide the pain?  Numb from socials and planning and work to be done?

I know an easy way to numb yourself….screen time!   Meanwhile, our nation is being taken over and when we do wake up, we’ll find our liberty gone.  Those who stand for Christ and who really want to be Christians, well, we’ll be quite unpopular around here.  The Christian nation will become something else entirely.  Muslim, atheist, whatever…these will be used to futher judge.  There will be a time of seperating.  There may not be an America left for hiding.  We may be a small lot, we may be a secluded lot.  We may end up underground. 

Of course, this is just an opinion and I am not speaking from a direct knowledge of anything.  I do know feelings (and they cannot always be trusted)…but in my gut I sense a terrible darkness.  With all that’s going on in our government, and all that’s going on in the church, it’s like God has turned from our America and is letting it go.  So now there are Christians sitting in the USA who are going to have to cling to Jesus, read the scriptures, and pray.  We have to wait to see what else needs to be done.  We have to choose not to compromise.  We have to teach our children well, they’ll need the strength that only God can give to stand when tested. 

This is not the world I knew when I was a girl, it’s not the same America anymore.

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My husband recently commented to a high school friend who was posting about Blue Like Jazz on facebook.  He sent him an article from Lighthouse Trails.  The friend responded that both sides were “brothers and sisters in Christ.”  Basically, we can disagree, but the open minded of us will not fight about it.  More of a…”you are being closed minded” argument.

Can both be right?  Can Lighthouse Trails point out Donald Miller’s heresy and this all be a “well we’re all one in the Spirit and we’re all Chrisitans so it’s okay?”  I say no.  I say the Lighthouse Trails editors and contributors cannot be on the same page as Donald Miller.  They are not “brothers and sisters” they are enemies. 

Now my huband has to do more than forward an article, he has to point out error in a book neither of us is interested in owning.  Lovely.  But then again, will it do any good?  Maybe not today, but seeds can be planted and hopefully one day God will show my husband’s friend the error.  It happens sometimes.

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I still want people deceived by the teaching of my former church to wake up.  I feel like a cult is taking over American churches and I wish things could be different.  At the same time I do not wish to be numb and cold in my knowledge.  I cannot think of myself as better than those who are deceived, just blessed to have been pulled from it. 

It doesn’t matter where I go, I could be on a vacation weekend or floating around facebook.  I see the same kind of seeker friendly or spiritual formation churchiness everywhere.  Many times a person stands up to speak and be an encouragement to a group…and uses a catch phrase.  Often it seems like a pep rally on Oprah.  That’s when I know a church goer has bought into the “bumper sticker” church.  I sigh, and sometimes feel quite helpless. 

So then I just wait.  Sometime, it might be appropriate to tell a person the truth and point things out.  I pray for an opportunity and hope to not get the “what ever are you talking about you space alien” look when I do share.

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I hate my sin.  I love God.  I know I am saved by grace through faith.  I cannot wait until I do not have this flesh.   Even when I am better than I was, there’s always some “not so bad” sin still there, slapping me in the face, reminding me that I am a stupid human.  After new baby and tired body, and with too much time on my computer rather than doing what I should be doing, I find I can loose my temper.  I yelled at my husband (who by the way is not the type to deserve being yelled at!).  I said things without really thinking and let my own mouth just go.  What is the sense in that?  Blah, I don’t like myself and the sin that I wish never ever happened.  These days it’s my mouth!  I’m glad my husband forgives, and ever more glad I have forgiveness in Christ.  Still hurts to know I still sin against Him even with what I do know.

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We spotted one of the pastors who was recently asked to resign from our former church in the church we’ve been attending for a while.  His little family was with him, and I am praying so much for them.  This has to be a confusing time, has to be a hard time.  I pray God will lead them to the best place for them to heal and to worship.  I hope the pastor can also find a place to earn money so he can support his family.  I pray they trust God and don’t become lost in this whole process.

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Sometimes I get so discouraged.  What I thought was true turned out to be false.  Our former church was a place where I thought people were glorifying God.  I’m sure there are some people there who are true Christians, but the leadership is scary to me.  At least two of the pastors are not preaching Christ, the others go along with it.   The one who did speak up and worked to change things had been let go.  They want to be a spiritual formation/seeker friendly/and whatever the emergent thing is lite (not NOT emergent?).  They want what they are. 

I feel a bit helpless, and I guess I am.  I cannot save anyone myself, that’s God’s work.  He chooses whom He chooses.  I just hate seeing it happening, the sin of false teaching.

I have another problem, I have a new problem of trust.  I cannot feel completely like I can trust preachers.  I cannot trust church systems.  I want to be able to walk into a church and know they are okay, they are preaching truth.  I want to trust.  I feel some trust in the newer church (and we’ve been going for a year and 1/2 now).  However, I cannot commit to them in heart right now.  (I have seen a few things that are problems…not related to doctrine or teaching but on a side note…and it has to do more with safety than anything not teaching/preaching/faith).  I want to have a consistent place for my kids to go to worship.   I want to be involved.

What has happened to me is a coldness.  In our former church, it was all about community.  We had small groups, activities, we were busy.  We had adult conversation.  We socialized.  We did get frustrated, but we did enjoy being around the people.  In the newer church (to us) we aren’t yet feeling connected to the people.  It’s a good sermon, nice to see you, bye.  I want some family there if I’m going to stick.  We do have friends attending from the former church, but only a few we were close to.  I’m not young anymore, and I don’t like starting over.  I want long term friends.  I’m lonely.  Are we supposed to feel lonely in church? 

Part of it is our fault.  We don’t trust, we have busy lives with our kids.  We haven’t completely dug in to this church.  We’d just like to be invited over for a drink and cookies, some conversation, some connection.  People are friendly, but we aren’t their friends.

Our former church had the group thing down.  Small groups were an issue in that the bible study part was missing.  I think there is nothing wrong with socializing with your church friends and getting together into groups, but small group studies were how bad teaching was spread further.  Just getting together to socialize, well, that probably is actually a good thing.  Getting together to study a book that has nothing to do with the gospel but makes you think it does, now that is wrong.  We spent years trying to do bible study in these groups and were successful some of the time.  The church kept pulling us into this or that book though…manditory for the whole church.

I’m discouraged on several levels I guess.  I thought we would have feel more than superficial with friends at our newer church.  I am also discouraged looking at the churches around our area.  Many are into this seeker friendly/spiritual formation stuff.  I guess I kind of feel like I would if I were in Utah.  So many places preaching false doctrine.  So many “nice” people, but sooooo thirsty for companionship/fellowship and also for the true gospel to be preached.  At least I feel the preaching where we are is pretty good.  Eventually, we’ll get through the human stuff and make friends.  Right?

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