I always check my thougths with a few people I trust when it comes to discerning what someone is up to in the church. I seek out leadership or wise counsel because I don’t always trust my own motive when trying to figure out if somneone is right or wrong. This is because I may have the human agenda of assuming too quickly that a leader or person is choosing evil in their error, when in fact it might be an oversight on their part. I ask those around me if they can see the trend I’m seeing.
I have found though, that some people I trust don’t have open eyes for discernment. I have lost patience at times when I continue to see problems and someone doesn’t. I am so glad God connected my husband and me to a very wise man who keeps me in line when I question things I’ve been seeing. He asks hard questions, challenges me, and if he can see the evidence points to what I am saying, he validates my perceptions. However, if he doesn’t find evidence, he does caution me to be careful with assumptions. If I didn’t have him (and his wife) through this process, I may have made even more mistakes in this process. He bases his thoughts on what’s happening in our former church on what he sees with his eyes, what he hears people say, and if it matches with scripture. I am so emotion based. Sometimes I just know something is wrong but cannot figure out why. This can be a good thing, helps me keep my distance even if I cannot see what I’m protecting myself from.
I think it’s important to recognize your weaknesses and seek counsel when you are in the midst of confusion in church. It’s hard to find someone to trust, sometimes you have to look outside your church. Look in the scriptures, pray. That’s what I’ve had to do. I cannot always trust my assumptions, my feelings, my thoughts.