I have to say, that on this Father’s Day, I appreciate my husband. Yes, I appreciate him for his way as a father. He is a provider, his salary is it for money in this house besides those who have helped out of the kindness of their hearts in times of need. He works tirelessly for us.
He reads to his children, prays with them, plays with them, eats with them AT THE TABLE. He coaches their ball teams and shows up at games he’s not coaching. He disciplines them when needed, but is not agressive in any way. He shows them how he loves me often, and the respect and love he gives me is a model for how they should treat me. He will take no disrespect for me from the 12 year old nor will he even let the 21 month old hit me in the midst of her tantrums.
Most of all, he loves God. He lets his kids know he is a saved sinner. He apologizes when he’s wrong, and expects much out of himself in behavior. He never looks at another woman, never. I mean never. He won’t be caught doing this, and he has made sure his computer is clean. I am not saying he is perfect, but he works hard at purity. If he has ever faltered, he’s actually asked for my help in this area. He teaches his daughters to be modest and his boys to respect girls. He also expects the boys to someday only choose modest girls.
In my battles with false doctrine, my husband has backed me up. He knows that if I take the time to point it out to him, it must be really bothering me. He knows to trust me. He will tell me honestly if he doesn’t see what I see, but he will definitely listen to me and give me the chance to prove what I see.
I tend to wait for his lead when it comes to action because I know that I am very emotional about doctrinal issues and if I am wrong, I will go headlong into the wall so fast. He is more even keeled, so I wait on him. Every time I have been like a caged animal with anxiety of doctrine and twisting of scripture, my husband has been there to hear it and back me up.
He is the one who decided when to leave our former church. He spoke to the elders, it was that kind of church…better for him to speak to the elders than me (at least that’s what we felt…may not be but it felt this way). He trusted when a pastor spoke to me and suggested writing a letter, he agreed with me this pastor’s intentions were probably good. When things didn’t change and only got worse, my husband didn’t allow the lead pastor (different than the one suggesting our final letter) to speak to me and attack me. He spoke directly to the pastor and defended me. He also didn’t just “back me up” but also put himself on the line, he believed the church was not right and he made himself be the responsible one.
If he hadn’t been with me on this, hadn’t listened to me initially and then commented that he too had been feeling uncomfortable with the sermons, I don’t know what I would have done. He led, he prayed, he sought counsel, he initiated. In short, he got our family out when it was the best time. If we were still in that church I would be sinning, I know it. I would be going crazy, confronting people, stepping on toes, fighting with my husband, and being generally snarky in church. I would likely pout. It would not be pretty. It would not be the way a woman is supposed to be. Being stuck in a church knowing my children would be taught a man centered gospel with a focus on Rick Warren’s P.E.A.C.E. plan would make me crawl out of my skin, no matter how nice the people are there. Thank God for my husband!