1. You bring up problems and are suddenly offered a leadership position. This is to keep you busy so you will not point out the error any longer.
2. You meet with elders or leaders full of questions. Such meetings end with more questions than answers. You then wonder how they did this?
3. You can readily identify the good preacher/bad preacher in your church. Sadly, you’re unsure if the good preacher is with you or against you but you think he might be with you. You know the bad preacher is against you, and others seem to know this too but no one will say so.
4. Your pastor begins preaching sermons that seem to address issues you have brought up in private meetings. The problems you brought up are contradicted in the sermon, yet you see no real change in these areas.
5. Your pastor mentions meetings he’s had with members of the church, use members in these meetings as bad examples, and you realize he’s speaking about you.
6. You notice that an elder hangs with you a lot more, or calls you more. Friendly little guy.
7. You are in a meeting and there is a mediator.
8. You are not quite sure the proper channels for dealing with your particular issues brought up. You soon become sure there is no real proper channel for discussing the issues you brought up.
9. The issues you bring up are quickly becoming “not the issue” to the people you present them to. The new issues involve you and your sin because you are unkind or unloving in some way as you communicate.
10. A pastor or elder reviews your little note to someone in authority in the church and it seems he approves. Later, you’re not sure this pastor actually approves of your letter, though he encouraged you to write it and helped you revise it…and told you to send it with his blessings.
11. You are told to repent.
12. You do not repent (what have you done again?) or you do repent and feel guilty about it later.
13. You get phone calls at home from the leadership, maybe even the lead pastor. This leadership has NEVER called you before. The leader certainly doesn’t sound happy on the phone! Immediately you are accused of something.
14. When the pastor asks a question from the pulpit, you find you are the only one who yells “no” while everyone else is nodding or saying yes in unison.
15. The word unity is used to explain why the particular point you are making is invalid.
I could go on and on….