In waking to the reality of where the church has been sitting, really sitting in the waste of the world…really…I am humbled. I think our biggest sin, those of us in the church, those of us waking up to what is happening in the church, those of us nodding at the pastor preaching slick lies or those even realizing the lies and leaving…the biggest sin is pride. We are all alike in this. We have to guard ourselves. I have to guard myself. I am prideful. Besides this, I am a friend of the world. This is a sickness I have as a Christian. I am a sinner, and I am so unholy. So uneducated in the things of God. So weak, I am so weak. My children, I pray for my children. I am their mother after all. There is only so much time to prepare them for their lives. The future looks very challenging to say the least. I have let them step with the world. I homeschool, but I have not prepared them. Not really. I compromise. I know what is on television because I watch it, I know much of the music the church is imitating, because I have danced to it and have learned the words by heart. How was I able to be fooled at my former church? How was I able to nod on, almost saying “amen?” I was and still am a blind sinner. I am ignorant and am not really rooted in God’s word. I am not anything. I am a sinner.
I pray and weep for future generations. We are their example. I am their example. God have mercy.
I am so happy that God is in control, that He sent His son for us. I am amazed at His love, that He sent His son to die for my sin and redeem me. Me, a worldly little worm of a woman. It takes my breath away.