I know it’s wise to hold my tongue….and I am learning this ever more.
We were contacted by a former pastor. Someone overheard one of us (or both) sharing with someone else about the church issues and what we believe about our former church. He is unhappy, and I can understand his position. I believe he is going to think we’re spreading rumors. We mostly talk with former members, once they realize we too have left, the flood gates open on both sides. It has happened that we have done this in a place where there might be connections. So now it’s possible we are just shooting our cause in the foot. I think we need to find a healthy church and pastor for counsel. I feel I am willing to apologize for talking inappropriately. I do feel we have shared when asked, and have been transparent with people. However, it’s possible that may have slipped into the rumor area (I shouldn’t say we as my husband isn’t as bad about this as I am). We have said to people who have asked and still attend that they need to research, and we share much less. For example, we might say we left because of the direction the church is going and things we heard in the sermons. We don’t feel all sermons rightly handle the word of God. We encourage people to pay attention. When someone has already left says, “you know, when we heard a sermon in the early weeks of attending we realized it was a mystical type sermon and that put us on guard right away,” a floodgate can open up.
The pastor mentioned people and things in his conversation that we were not even aware of, meaning that he’s had other people complaining. We have mentioned only what we had contact with. He mentioned one person in particular who was in a teaching position and our supposed conversations about that person, and we certainly don’t recall ever mentioning that person to him. If we did mention that person, it was in passing and not that we had a problem with this teacher.
On another note, we’re aware that some staff was let go at our former church. The only thing we’ve been told is it was financial. We’re not sure that’s true, and we wouldn’t say anothing about it as we have no clue.
So now we need to back up and look at our own behavior. It can be an excuse for the church to ignore their own issues.