I’ve written my letter, mostly. I’m having a few friends I trust look it over. So now what?
I’m a bit confused now, really. I do not know how to trust any longer when it comes to hearing a sermon. It’s like when I was younger and read “Late Great Planet Earth” and everything around me I saw was pointing to scary events. I was hyper focused on the stuff I read, and was walking in fear. I now feel unraveled, that I need to go back to basics so to speak, to get my bearings.
I believe the emergent/seeker friendly/new spirituality/new age church is wide spread. Because it is so widespread, I’m afraid I’ll just church shop my way into the same problem again. Also, and this is very difficult, I now wonder how much of what I believe has been colored and touched by false teaching. I do not want to throw away the good and true things I have learned because it seems like what mergent churches might teach. I want to hold fast to what is good even if Rick Warren said it once. You see, the lie is so close to the truth that there is some truth there. It would be easy to loose faith after realizing the lies we were rubbing up against. It’s hard to wonder how much of my “good will” feelings were my own or what was prompted by the suggestions of my church leaders. Sometimes I look at the good things our church was doing (in terms of service and missions projects) and I begin to wonder what was wrong with that? The only thing wrong, really, was that it wasn’t coming from God but coming from man’s plans. To top it off, the message was distorted only slightly (more so now than then), and so what we were doing was not for God. Is is an accurate thing to say our church was like Cain? Abel brought the true sacrifice God required, and we were bringing something else. That made everything we did not quite good enough, not quite right. We were missing the mark. So now, I live in this little world where I question so much of what I’m doing. What do I do next?
I also don’t want to judge people wrongly. If there is a tie in to mergent, fine, I’ll avoid or try to redirect. I don’t want to shy away from going out and walking around and praying for my neighbors. Though “prayer walks” come from contemplative style churches, this doesn’t mean that praying for my neighbors should stop. I don’t want to avoid going out by myself and praying just because contemplatives talk about solitude. I also don’t want to avoid trying to find a quiet place to have a “quiet time” or spend time reading and praying because contemplatives talk of being still. There is nothing wrong with going to the Father in prayer and finding a quiet place to pray. It’s whether or not that is requried for “a closer relationship” to Him that’s questionable. I will not be meditating with repetative phrases, I will not be opening myself up or centering in prayer. So, being quiet for a while is not evil. It’s just the distortion of the requirements and the mimicking eastern meditation methods that is wrong. It’s not wrong to expect to be changed because I am a Christian, it’s just wrong to transform into something of this world.
So, I guess the “now what” is to just “do the next thing.” I need to take time to be with my family, to study the Bible, to pray, and to find a place we can worship the only wise God, the true God.