I think people would say numbers at church are good, that this might be a fruit of labor. Also, it might be programs, yes, our church has many programs to meet the needs. It might also be how much outreach we do. If we’re in India, Mexico, New Orleans, Africa, and in the other regions of our local metroplex, then we’re producing good fruit. If we have above 80% of our people in small groups, 75% of our children who have “made decisions for Christ” and have 100% of all members baptized, this is good fruit too, right? If we retain 90% of our youth into college, we’ve made good fruit. All of this is supposed to measure good fruit, prove that our purpose driven thing is good (our church doesn’t have these numbers by the way, I’m making them up). Being missional, believing in missional, having everyone march in lock step behind the wonderful pastors who read all these wonderful books, and raising our hands when we sing, this is all good right? If we all practice spiritual disciplines and fast for 40 days, pray in silence, and practice solitude, we’ll have the good fruit of a deeper faith, deeper experience, deeper…better, my life as a Christ follower is better than your life as a Christ follower because I have taken up this author’s beliefs or this movement’s beliefs, I’ve joined the revivial/reformation/transformation…so I’m better, right? These fruits are what we want, right?
So how come I felt unfed? Do I need to be a “self feeder.” Is that what Jesus wants for His followers, to be self feeders? Though Rich Mullins spoke with Manning and did practice silence, and very well may have begun the mystic Christianity (I’m not sure how far he went into this) I keep thinking of his line, “I know that the thirsty listen, and down to the waters come…” I’m in my church and I’m thirsty. I’ve confessed my faith in Christ since I was about 7 years old, I’ve matured some. Yes, I am not where I want to be, but I am no longer a baby in Christ, I do not need the foundations to be laid again, I’m past that. However, I do need the pastor to have the foundations under his mission, under his ministry, under his words, under his purposes for our church. Our pastor is starting with the premise that we have to fix what is wrong with our wealthy American local church. We haven’t been doing enough, so we need to stretch. We need to reach out, we need to give. He even says it’s a myth we’re going to stop feeding the mature believers. Then how come I feel so unfed there? How come I can read for myself and feel fed, but AT church I often am trying to figure out how what the pastor says applies?
So, if our numbers are up, or the mission is so good, how come the church is becoming divided and the mature Christians are leaving? Some might say it’s because they are closed minded or want their own power. Well, from what I’ve seen, those who have left have not at all been powerful. They’ve not been unwilling to serve, or unwilling to give. They usually leave with a statement on their lips, “I was feeling that I needed more biblical study here…” or, “my children are coming up in the youth ministry, and I don’t like the direction they are going, the focus is less on the bible than I wanted.”
So, this is the fruit in our church…many youth going on mission trips and having the experience of their lives, many members “connected” in a small group with studies like “Walk Across the Room” by Hybells or “Five Love Languages” or some other such counseling style book. We’ve got a church full of leaders that can easily “facilitate” a small group and pop in a DVD driven series from any number of books. We serve in the community in really great ways, but some of them amount to just picking up trash. We really do have some good things though like food pantry giving, or building homes. We’ve got partnerships with churches in other areas where we help build homes and churches in those communities, this is practical and good. But, we have many other projects we do that don’t relate to Christianity in any way. We bring the local community in for dinner theater and carnival type activities. At least at the carnival, there is no mention of Christ anywhere. It sure is entertaining though.
Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
I am a C...I am a CH...I am a CHRISTIAN 
Could not sleep this morning, was catching up on your posts. You do seem frustrated and I can identify with that, in many ways I would say that you are right on track. you said ” Yes, I am not where I want to be, but I am no longer a baby in Christ, I do not need the foundations to be laid again, I’m past that”. There was a point in my life where that was my confession and through various means the Lord allowed me to question every thing that I believed to destruction and I came away with the realization that the foundations I had lain was based on far more assumptions about the truth than I was comfortable with. I found that if my life is similar to those we see in the bible then I am on a good course even if I have troubles. You right to be uncomfortable being herded from one program to another. The devil knows that on this field of battle, time, all he has to do is run out the clock, keep us busy doing good stuff what ever the flavor of the month is.
Did you ever notice that Christ was never in a hurry? That one of the first things he did with Paul was send him into the desert for 2 years? Waiting upon the Lord is the finely honed skill that brings the victory. Stopping to take a breath and listen then go is the smart way to go. And question everything you believe, seeking the truth and the Spirit will draw you in and reveal it to you. The Father wants you to know, we know this because the Son said that if you see him you see the Father, and the Holy Spirit agree with them. Seek the Kingdom of Heaven and his righteousness and ALL THIS THINGS will be given to you.
Do not be afraid. And don’t let the professionals buffalo you because they are just clueless on a higher level. In my little Church, we have a newly minted pastor on the way and many in the group are hoping that he will give them cover so they can get back to their own lives, we could not wait together upon the Lord for more than 6 months, sad really, but I wonder what it will be like if he turns out to be more like me than them, it could be interesting. Bye for now, in his Grace, He Reigns.
Steve,
I do think I have the right foundations. When I started, on the base I became a believer very young and what I believed was that I was a sinner, The father sent Jesus in the flesh, Jesus died for my sins, I needed forgiveness…and that Jesus rose from the dead which gave me eternal life if I truly believed and followed. Once I asked Him to forgive all my sins I know I made a promise to follow Him. I always believed Jesus was with me. Later, I understood that Jesus sent His Holy Spirit to be my Comforter and to help me understand His word. I have always just waited on Him to see where He leads.
I am still a sinner, still imperfect, and still get caught up in pride or other things that can cloud my judgement. However, I am convicted often of my sin and I come to Jesus with a knowledge that He’s already forgiven me once for all. I believe that I continue to grow as a Christian and will all of my life.
What I do know about my church is that no busyness will save you, and though they say that busy work is nothing, they say it while demanding it. Also, they are beginning to introduce New Age words and thought right into the church. This was the last straw for me, the realization that the pastors had crossed over some line they would have to work hard to step back over.